Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize