i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
