You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize