He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i was born a porn star she said
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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