It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
