I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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