I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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