I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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