All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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