its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
