Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
