Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
