Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
being pregnant is like rehab
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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