just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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