WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
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the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize