About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
