i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
