So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
