ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
did i walk over a car last night?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
