Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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