So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize