that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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