she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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