I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
