i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
