My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
