Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.

Fav 20 3878 1480
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(307): View more from Wyoming

first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.

Fav 14 6360 1448
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.

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(775): View more from Nevada

he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.

Fav 37 3764 5733
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(681): View more from West Virginia

Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

That's the stuff legends are made of

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.

Fav 0 674 441
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk

Fav 0 41 14
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