Cold hands, warm shart.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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