sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
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Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
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She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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