Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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