Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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