Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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