After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
