Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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