he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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