Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize