Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize