SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
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This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
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I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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