Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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