Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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