I think I am morally bankrupt
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
