I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
