some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize