Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
