if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
