His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Less talking, more tequila
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
