After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
