yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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