: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
That's when you crack a 10am beer
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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