If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
sarcasm needs its own font
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
