So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
