There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
