He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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