We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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