Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.

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  (770): I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges. http://tfl.nu/kn7k
  Replies (51) Good night (1031) Bad night (4519) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.

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  (972): I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up. http://tfl.nu/rj29
  Replies (44) Good night (3888) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.

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  (707): They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/dso2
  Replies (20) Good night (962) Bad night (4885) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.

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  (318): I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away. http://tfl.nu/8l4v
  Replies (21) Good night (1263) Bad night (5345)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time

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  (732): its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time http://tfl.nu/vuuh
  Replies (57) Good night (971) Bad night (7617) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.

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  (705): i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding. http://tfl.nu/t3vj
  Replies (6) Good night (5272) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.

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  (775): You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes. http://tfl.nu/wxud
  Replies (22) Good night (1102) Bad night (4871) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on

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  (832): You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on http://tfl.nu/zwxm
  Replies (4) Good night (2948) Bad night (534)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The ice cream man just told me to use protection.

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  (914): The ice cream man just told me to use protection. http://tfl.nu/w7kz
  Replies (6) Good night (2375) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.

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  (319): Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow. http://tfl.nu/xfpi
  Replies (20) Good night (2967) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university

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  (+44): He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university http://tfl.nu/5znd
  Replies (11) Good night (2575) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.

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  (509): first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off. http://tfl.nu/heya
  Replies (7) Good night (403) Bad night (1217)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball

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  (917): I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball http://tfl.nu/axxp
  Replies (24) Good night (499) Bad night (2667) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?

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  (336): It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo? http://tfl.nu/6rh5
  Replies (7) Good night (1210) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.

  (415): View more from California

  Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?

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  (937): Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given. (415): Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes? http://tfl.nu/8d8c
  Replies (4) Good night (839) Bad night (360)

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