He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.