I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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