We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is