Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?