i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.