it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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