Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
