he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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