the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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