I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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